Social Posts

Just a little side project I like to do sometimes, these are things I've posted on various social channels over the years.

Doug's initial skepticism

at having a termite for a roommate was reaffirmed

the night he awoke without his peg leg.

It didn't take long for Gary to realize that referring to his bicycle as his "motorcycle" often created a misunderstanding

that worked in his favor.

The irony wasn't lost

on Frank, a white snake,

as he found himself again

on his own, going down the only road he'd ever known.

Greg suffered from an incredibly rare and costly disorder that made

"license and registration" indistinguishable from

"step on it."

As Madame Zola's crystal ball slipped off the table and shattered on the floor, so too did Chip's suspension of disbelief. Why hadn't she seen that coming?

It was only a matter of time before JoJo's clients realized that not only did she have zero experience as a hairstylist, but that she was also a baboon.

He might have been able to explain away his eye patch, but never the tinfoil sword or the trained parrot. With the eyes of everyone in the gym upon him, Dale realized he would have to admit to misreading the ad for Beginner Pilates.

Floyd's paranoia therapy

group was opening his eyes

to conspiracy theories he

never could have thought of

on his own.

Rupert, an otherwise accomplished mime, would often opt not to perform "Trapped in a Box," due to

his unfortunate tendency towards claustrophobia.

Despite being born in the Year of the Dragon, Hong-li still found himself struggling to open a jar of pickles.

Dennis stared blankly at the word and repeated it again. Subpoena.

A silent "b" and a silent "o"?

It was the beginning and the end of his law school endeavor.

Janice often saw herself in her sister. And in the mirror.

Not normally a risk-taker, Howard became one that night in the middle of the Governor's Ballroom, when he decided to extend the "five-second rule" by a full two seconds.

Edwin wasn't like the other praying mantises. Edwin was an atheist.

Morty the Magnificent would normally use fishing line to create the illusion of levitation, but tonight, in a fever of career-ending hubris, he chose to go with yarn.

Quentin had always been uneasy around Halloween. Partly because he was easily spooked, but mostly because he was a pumpkin.

Even a seasoned glassblower will occasionally display a lapse in judgement. Such was the case with Zed, and his ill-conceived line of sharp-lipped stemware.

Ronald put everything he

had into the Cold Air Balloon Company, but it never took off.

Gladys no longer cared what planet Zolmac was from or whether or not his ray gun was real. This was one game of backgammon she intended to win.

When Burt's robot vacuum became self-aware, it immediately fell into a deep depression. It couldn't escape the feeling that it sucked at everything.

Boffo adjusted his big red nose and took a long look in the circus mirror. The question that haunted him appeared again. Why hadn't his parents just named him Steve?

Was it a lack of effort that ultimately caused Gas 'n Matches to go out of business? A lack of heart?

Or was it the giant explosion?

The sparks that flew when Amelia first saw Preston were undeniable. It was the 4th of July, and he was handing a lit sparkler to his "wife," but still, there were sparks.

Alistair sometimes wondered if his decision to make his ventriloquist dummy a nudist was the right one.